Station: Klingon Luncheon

Posted on Mon Aug 4th, 2025 @ 10:57pm by Commander Kehlani & Lieutenant JG Gavin Lasso {Honorary KDF}

Mission: Stellar Problems
Location: Club Bliss
Timeline: Current

OOC: Before the events of "A bit of fun"

ON:

Commander Kehlani walked along casually on the Promenade, her son Higan to her right dressed in his own finery as the son of the Patriarch. His proud mother could see that he had grown at least another inch since they had been here and that would mean that he would begin puberty soon. Klingons and puberty could be dangerous to those around them so keeping a close eye on his behavior towards others would be paramount.

"Why are we going to this place again, Mother?" Higan asked, the atypical grumpiness of a child being forced to do something by a parent he did not care for.

"Because I said so, first of all." Kehlani responded. Second; you need to experience other cultures to better understand the galaxy around you. This means you have to partake in some of their traditions to gather wisdom. If you seek to become a Dahar Master like the great Kor, or Kang, then this is how you do it."

"Bah," Higan spat out. "Do I have to eat their food? It sounds..." He had to take care here since his Mother held Humans in high regard and had even lived among them as a child, and served with them in Starfleet. "Soft. Foods for the weak."

Kehlani grinned own at her son. "Spoken like a true Klingon. You honor our House. However, not all Humans are weak and pathetic. Most of them will surprise you with their resilience, their inner strengths, and their ability to survive in the most inhospitable of environments. Never underestimate anyone, especially a Human. Only a fool would do so. Are you a fool, my son?"

Knowing his Mother's past, having read about all her exploits, he knew she was a warrior and a diplomat. As a younger Starfleet lieutenant she had single-handedly rescued the president of the UFP and her entourage after they had been captured by Orion slavers. Somehow, some way not mentioned, the Orions had overcame the UFP Security and absconded with the politicians before anyone was the wiser. It was sheer happenstance that the young Lieutenant Kehlani had detected the Orion corvette leaving the system they had been at. Using Klingon tactics to keep her own warp shuttle hidden, Kehlani was able to land without notice in the forest, trek over ten kilometers to the Orion den, and then used her personal weapons to slaughter the lot. When a rescue party of Starfleet Security arrived, they found Kehlani slaked with the green blood of her enemies, whom she had cleaved with her mekleth. The President and her companions all sitting around comfortably free. "I am no fool, Mother. I will partake in this lunch to honor your lessons."

"That is wise." Kehlani said, giving her son a crooked smile to show she was being facetious. "I ask a favor in return for your compliance."

"Which is?"

Kehlani gave him another glance. "At least try and enjoy the experience."

The low growl of frustration in Higan's throat was not missed before he responded. "I will try. I cannot promise anything more."

"That will be enough, then." Kehlani said even as they reached the entrance to Club Bliss. It was quiet within, with low music in the background and people chatting at their lunch tables around the establishment. Mother and son entered the club, seeing Kehzza and Lasso sitting at a buddy bar at the edge of the empty dance floor. The table was surrounded by empty buddy bars so provided a bit of privacy for the meal to come and the company in attendance. "Look, there is Kehzza and Lasso. They promised to be here to support you. Let's join them."

Higan's eyes went from grumpy squinting to open happiness as he saw the other two, and heard they were here for him. He had come to like Lasso very much, a man who had proven his worth to his Father Marz. His parmaq, Kehzza, was a female Klingon worthy of her sword. "I agree."

Kehlani saw the shift in her son's attitude as he laid eyes on Lasso and Kehzza, knowing he had affections for both. It seemed that knowing they were here would make this experience less trying for him. Whatever worked, she thought. Getting to the table both Lasso and Kehzza stood to greet them.

Lasso spoke first, to the Matriarch. "nuqneH, Commander."

Speaking in Klingon, like her mate, Kehzza gave a nod of greeting once more. "Always good to see you, Matriarch. We are honored."

As Kehzza addressed Kehlani, Lasso had dropped to a knee before Higan, smiling as he opened his arms. "What? No hug for your favorite uncle?"

Higan gave a laugh and stepped in, embracing his uncle, the two of them slapping backs and squeezing tightly as only brethren could. Lasso stood up and patted the stool seat next to his. "Mount up, young warrior. We have food to eat or detest." Another laugh from him.

"So I've heard," Higan admitted as he got into his seat, giving a sidelong glance towards his mother, who he saw was purposefully ignoring his snide remarks while she spoke to Kehzza, the females leaving the males to confer with each other. "Is it as bad as I've heard?"

Gavin was sure he was speaking about the food, but just to be certain. "Is what bad?"

"The food." Higan said, his disgust apparent even though he had never eaten it before and was relying solely on rumor and hearsay.

"Not to me, no." Lasso said truthfully. "I get it, Higan. You're a Klingon listening to older, more experienced Klingons. Just know that half the time they speak of detesting Human cuisine among their brothers is because it is the Klingon thing to do. Puff up, agree that Klingon culture is better, all that. And, I do agree, it is in many ways. However, I have seen many Klingons in my day that found something to like with many cultures and their food and beverages. Romulan ale, to name one. Klingons have a long-standing grudge with the Romulans but all Klingons agree that Romulan ale is a delicious and satisfying libation."

"Hmm," Higan grumbled in his throat before looking up to the eyes of his uncle. "I see what you are saying. Does my father like anything Human when it comes to food?"

"Beef. He loves Earth beef." Lasso said. "Lightly browned on each side, or what Humans refer to as being cooked rare. It is basically, to Humans, like eating it almost raw. Lots of blood and juices to enjoy the more natural flavor of the meat."

As he spoke, Lasso saw Higan's eyes widen at the description. The eyes of someone imagining chewing on the meat of an animal from Earth, tasting its blood and other flavors. Higan licked his lips as his hunger grew just listening to Gavin. "Is this beef used in these, what was it...hamburgers mother has mentioned?"

"Yes, it is. Beef comes from an animal known as a bovine, or a cow in simpler parlance. There are many species listed under bovine." Lasso explained. "The burger is a ground up version of the beef, mixed with the animal fat to make it sticky so it can be made into balls and patties used to make different dishes. The burger, or hamburger, is a dish with a beef pattie between slices of bread called a bun. Humans like to stack vegetables atop the pattie. Things like onions, pickles, lettuce and so forth. They then place the top bun back on top and squish it down enough to compress it so they can then bite from it without getting lock jaw." As he said that last part, Lasso could not help but chuckle. "It is comical to watch a fool stack so much on their burger, and then try to open their mouth to bite into it when the damn thing is as tall as their face." Another laugh.

Higan chuckled with him and kept grinning even as he tried to imagine the site. Having never seen a hamburger he had no common reference to go by. "Mother insists I try the hamburger and fries. Cooked meat!" His face twisted up like he had just tasted something bitter.

Lasso grinned at him. "You're right, it is cooked. But, once you get used to the flavor, and how it is cooked, they can be quite delicious. And, believe me, there are hundreds of ways to cook a burger, and various meats to be used other than beef. Turkey, Chicken, even fish burgers. Consumer choice."

"I like seafood," Higan responded upon hearing the word fish. "Pipius claw is quite delicious."

"Wait, wait, wait," Lasso said, holding his hands up and doing the small shaking of them to pause the current topic to switch to another one. "Are you telling me that your mother," he looked sidelong towards Kehlani, seeing she and Kehzza both were playing at not listening to the men, even though both females glanced his way. So, to stick a barb in their little game of subterfuge, he continued. "Never told you about the special cooks she has at 'gaH'? The cooks who can cook Klingon food in the Human fashion? Sauteed gaH is quite delicious, despite it being dead. Sometimes spices and flavoring make it taste even better. Or, have the gaH fried up so you can dip the bloodworms in grapok sauce as a quick delicacy."

Higan's face turned immediately toward his mother, a look of adolescent betrayal on his face. "Mother? Is this true?"

~Oh no~ thought Lasso, seeing the glare he got as Kehlani's eyes turned to her son. ~I am going to pay for that later~

"Yes, it is true," Kehlani admitted. "You are stubborn when it comes to other species, a trait you get from your father. Instead of giving you that information I allowed you a chance to make that decision yourself. You have been to 'gaH' many times, have seen the menu, yet never ordered the exotic dishes. I left you to your ignorance."

Kehzza sat and watched, her eyes going from Lasso to Higan, back and forth as she sat quietly. Her stoic way of supporting Kehlani.

Higan went to retort, but then his sharp mind caught up with what was said. His mother was correct, he had never even considered the other dishes, instead choosing to follow in his father's footsteps, despite having seen his father change his mind on something due to his mother's input. She never demanded that father follow her advice, just that he take it into consideration. And, on a few occasions, he had listened to her and changed the course of his decisions, proving she had been right in her view of the situation. She was, after all, an envoy of the Klingon people. "I see."

Kehlani chose to move her eyes from son to friend. "Thank you, Lasso, for being so forward with my son. Truth should always be spoken in House Kehlani." That was her warning to never entrap her like that again, and receiving a subtle nod that the veiled message was both heard and understood. "So, you and Kehzza will now try hamburgers and fries."

"What?!" Kehzza's stoic demeanor shattered at the announcement. "Why me, Commander? Is this punishment for some wrongdoing?"

Gavin had to struggle to keep his laughter from bursting forth, his lips pursing and the muscles in jaw and face struggling to prevent a smile from breaking out. If he cracked now Kehzza would have his ass later.

Kehlani, however, did not have the need to cover for herself. She did give a Klingon belly laugh before responding. "Your face is priceless, Kehzza. Not enough latinum in the sector to pay for that reaction." She chuckled on for a few moments. "It is not a punishment, it is a lesson. My mate has learned it, my son is learning it, and my sister-in-law must learn it, too."

"What lesson is that, Commander?" Kehzza inquired.

"Tolerance," stated Kehlani. "A tolerance for other cultures. Yes, we are warriors and conquerors but, every culture has something to add, something we can learn from, whether we rule them or not. When Khitomer was attacked who was it that came to our aid?"

"The Federation," answered Kehzza.

"Exactly!" Kehlani hammered her fist down on the table lightly to drive home her point. "Captain Rachel Garret risked ship and crew to stave off the Romulans long enough for reinforcements to arrive. And yet, to this day, Klingons still speak of Human culture like they are a bunch of weak and fearful petaQ!" Her eyes blazed with a fury buried deep within her being, a fury she had under control but had always been there. "The USS Enterprise-C was damaged beyond use, then towed back to Romulus as a war prize. All those still alive were put into slave labor, not unlike our own world and the Hur'q invasion of Qo'noS. We were enslaved and forced to mine resources for the Hur'q as they depleted what was rightfully ours. Eventually, we broke those chains, and Kahless rose up to show us how to fight back, to fight with honor and glory!"

Lasso was fascinated by her passion. For a person he knew to be intelligent, fair, and strong all in the same breath, seeing the passion she had for her people was impressive. Even now, though, her passion for her people and culture was being matched by her passion for those not of Klingon descent. Cultures outside of the Empire that had made a difference for the Klingon people to be able to continue to rise and become strong.

Higan was focused on his mother, seeing her speak as only a Matriarch could. She spoke of honor, glory, duty. Her words were not meant to coddle, they were meant to bring truth to light. As he had heard over time, the truth hurt, even stung like a wasp at times, but it was far better than whispers and lies in dark places. His heart swelled with pride at being her son, and it began to beat a little harder as she continued speaking.

Kehlani had spoken to the heart of the matter, and once that meaty morsel had been thrown out, she began to settle back into a calmer demeanor. "I am a Klingon! I am also Starfleet! I will, and would die, for either! That is my strength. That is my purpose. Anyone wishing to call me Matriarch and be a member of my House will do the same or they can eat the ass-end out of a dead targ. In other words, I have no use for them. It took some convincing but Patriarch Marz agrees. I love him with all I am, and if he had said no to it, I would not be speaking of this now. I would have respected his choice and submitted. You," her eyes went to Gavin. "Are the reason he agreed to my reasoning on this."

"Me?" Lasso found that surprising. No one told Marz how to think or, what to say other than his mate. "I have never spoken to him about such things."

Kehlani's demeanor finally found relaxation as her shoulders and torso eased down to a casual stance as a crooked grin appeared on that beautiful face. "I know, Lasso. It's not what has, or has not, been said. It's what you did, what you still do, to fit into the House you claim. Your fearless acceptance of Klingon traditions and culture has impressed him more than you know. For you two," Kehlani's eyes went back and forth from Kehzza to Higan. "Lasso is an example of two cultures coming together for a better purpose. You claim to love him, Kehzza, but he is not a Klingon. If you are so determined to shun others and their beliefs then why fall in love with an outsider?"

Kehzza's mouth opened and then closed, her expression showing she was thinking on all that had been said, went to respond, and then got hit with more thoughts on the matter. Especially the matter as to who her parmaq was.

Kehlani could see through her body language, knowing through experience with the younger woman that what she had said had made a difference in her way of thinking. "Exactly, Kehzza. You can't explain it. To shun other cultures means you need to shun him, too. Am I saying we let others change us from who we are, or allow them to change our own culture and beliefs? Absolutely not. Just be more tolerant, that's all. I, too, still laugh at some of the asinine beliefs of certain cultures out there. But, just because I laugh at it and see it as ridiculous does not mean I can't respect it from their point of view."

Higan broke the ice on this conversation by simply being a young Klingon with a need. In complete innocence, matter-of-fact, he asked a simple query. "Are we ever going to eat?"

All three adults looked at each other, then all three looked at Higan, then back at each other before bursting into laughter. The young Klingon's belly was all he cared about right now, after hearing all the talk about beef and blood. His mother wanted him to eat Human burgers, so here he was ready to eat. When she started giving a speech he got caught up in it for a bit, but then his physical needs kicked in. In other words, he was hungry, and the longer his mother went on the worse it got. Like his father would say, too much talking can be tiring. But, seeing them all laughing at his expense did ruffle his feathers and his face scrunched into a grimace. That caused another round of laughter from the adults.

Lasso finally addressed the issue. "Higan, don't be angry. We are not laughing AT you, we are laughing WITH you. Your mother was so caught up in her speech that when you asked that question it made us all stop and realize just how far we had strayed from our purpose in being here. In other words, we are here to eat and it is lunch time."

Kehlani reached out and squeezed her son's shoulder with a smile. "You did well in getting your mother's attention. How soon I forget that is the duty of a good son. Yes, we will now eat. Bliss has fresh gaH, too. If the burger does nothing for you we will eat gaH."

"Thank Kahless," said Kehzza in a cynical tone. "If this burger thing is repulsive I'll need gaH to get the taste out of my mouth." This caused a round of chuckles from all. They waved a server over and put in the orders for themselves, then sat back and chatted while waiting. Kehlani blessed the table by not launching into another speech, instead choosing to talk about casual matters. The server came back with a helper, delivering the dishes in front of each patron and leaving condiments for them to use. Once gone the four began to examine their platters. Each had a burger pattie on a bottom bun, open-faced, with all the vegetables off to the side and stacked loosely together. Next to that on each plate was a pile of fries, crisp and cooked to perfection.

Higan looked at the platter, his eyes dancing around to all he saw. He leaned in, his head low as he eye-balled the meat pattie sitting atop a piece of bread. He sniffed the air, smelling the cooked meat, his natural Klingon inclination being to turn away and cough out that stench. But, for his mother's sake and the lesson to be learned he held back on that reaction. He then examined the vegetables, not knowing what any of them were or their purpose in conjunction with the bread and meat. Sitting up again, Higan them watched his mother and Lasso, seeing them stacking the plants they wanted atop the meat pattie, with Lasso adding a white and a yellow sauce to the empty piece of bread before picking it up and turning it over to cap it atop the veggies, pattie and bottom bread. His mother had used the yellow sauce only, which he read in Federation Standard to be something called mustard. Looking directly across from himself at Kehzza, he noted that she was watching all Lasso was doing with a focused eye, asking him questions about the items on the platter. He directed her on what was what and why, helping her stack her own burger.

"Need some help," his mother's familiar voice in his ear as she leaned in, chewing a bite of her burger and cheeking it to speak to him. Klingons were not opposed to speaking with their mouths full, after all.

"If you would, mother." Higan said. "I am unfamiliar." As a good mother would, no matter what species, Kehlani showed her son how to apply what he wanted on the burger. He saw that she had placed a leafy green substance on her burger, then a circular cut vegetable that was white on the inside and reddish-purple on the outside, which smelled wonderful on her fingers. "What is that?" He asked, pointing to the sliced onion.

"That is an onion. A plant from earth and, one of my favorites." Kehlani explained, taking up a single slice of onion from his plate and putting it in her mouth. "Try it alone before adding it to the burger. You may not like it."

Higan, heeding his mother's advice, picked up a slice of onion and put it in his mouth, chewing with reticence at first. Once that exotic flavor hit his tongue and then his brain, he chewed voraciously, liking it very much. "A warrior's plant!" He said with conviction. "I like these onions."

As they went on, Kehlani finally got his son's burger where he wanted it. Continuing to eat her own, she surreptitiously kept an eye on him to see his reactions to all the flavors coming together in a single bite. As with any Klingon, table manners were secondary. As he took the first bite, a huge mouthful, mustard and vegetable matter sluiced out of the lower half of the bun, which he paid no mind to. It made sense since eating a platter of pipius claws was far more messy when Klingons ate them since they used hammer blows on the table to crack the shell and get to the succulant meat within, spattering seafood juice and water everywhere in the process since the claws were normally steamed or boiled. Even Kehzza, with the aid of Lasso, had her burger dressed and was taking her first bites. The looks on the faces of Kehzza and Higan said that the flavors were foreign but not as unpleasant as they had suspected. Kehzza, too, seemed to favor the flavor of the onion, and every slice of it had been added to her burger. The tomato and pickle were discarded, as with her son, and only one leaf of lettuce had been added for flare since neither of them found it to have any flavor at all. Which was, of course, true. Lettuce was not very flavorful to many people.

With them all eating the table got quiet for a while as they enjoyed their meals. What Higan and Kehzza did not know was that the next stop was dessert. Ice cream, which every Klingon in the Empire seemed to love making fun of when it came to Humans. Secretly, Kehlani loved ice cream. Even her husband did not know that as she kept it to herself.

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